


Can You See Me?

by Izzymendes



Category: SKAM Austin
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, F/F, Finger Sucking, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Sex, Not Beta Read, megan sees shay but she doesn't SEE her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-24 01:49:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30064836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Izzymendes/pseuds/Izzymendes
Summary: The first time Megan sees Shay, she doesn’t actually see her.
Relationships: Shay Dixon/Megan Flores
Kudos: 2





	Can You See Me?

**Author's Note:**

> i rewatched skam austin recently, so this is what you get. hope you enjoy :)
> 
> title from _see me_ by emily king.

The first time Megan sees Shay, she doesn’t actually see her. Megan is sitting in a cafe as she stirs an abnormal amount of sugar into her coffee, when a girl trips over the leg of her chair. Megan turns, wanting to see the victim, but in turn knocks over her coffee, spilling the boiling hot liquid onto her favourite high-rise jeans. “Shit,” she says under her breath.

“Shit,” she hears repeated behind her. “I’m sorry.” 

And this time, Megan, too busy planning her next steps, does not turn around.

-

The second time Megan sees Shay, she is with Marlon. “So,” Marlon is saying. “These are my friends.” Marlon spreads his arms as if to say, “Welcome to the squad,” but Megan knows she isn’t. She sees Tyler standing there, rolling his eyes as if he is annoyed at her mere existence. Shay, on the other hand, keeps looking down.

“Hi,” she says anyway, because what else can she do? Tyler waves half-heartedly before returning to his drums. He plays something short: Tap-tap-tap-cling, tap-tap-tap-cling. Megan compliments, “That’s good.”

Tyler smiles, almost condescendingly, “Thanks.” 

Marlon nudges him not-so-subtly.

“Hello,” Shay says. She is still looking at the ground, and Megan decides that she’s had enough.

“What’s so interesting?” Megan asks. She positions herself beside Shay, so close she can feel the fine hairs on Shay’s arm, before looking at the spot Shay is looking at. “All I see are ants.”

“Uh… nothing.” Shay finally looks up at her, and she looks back up at Shay, and all Megan can think is, _Wow_. Because Shay is indeed wow. She has dark eyes - the intense kind, the kind that makes you feel like the only person in the world - and straight, black hair that flows to the middle of her back. And Megan is so goddamn jealous, and the first thing she thinks off, irrevocably, is Is Marlon cheating on me with Shay? It makes sense. As they say, once a cheater, always a cheater, and Shay is so beautiful Megan cannot comprehend how Marlon stands to be with her without wanting her closer, closer, closer.

A beat passes. And then Marlon is gathering the band up, telling them not to fuck up because Megan is so important to him, and Megan’s heart kicks up a storm so that all thoughts of cheating are forgotten. She takes a seat on the old couch, completely ruined with more holes than she can want and patchwork that didn’t seem to do much work at all, and watches her boyfriend’s band play.

-

The fifth time Megan sees Shay is their first meeting alone. Well, if you discount that first time, which, in Megan’s opinion, should be discounted. They’re in Shay’s car, driving along the gravelled street, with the sunroof open and the wind causing their hair to fly backwards. “Sucks that Marlon bailed on you,” Shay comments idly.

“Yeah,” Megan replies, “but you’re here, aren’t you? It’s not like he left me all alone with no ride.”

“Still. He promised he’d pick you up, and he didn’t, and he didn’t even let you know till the last moment.”

“I guess.”

"You guess?" Shay asks, confused. "Like, dude, he's my friend, but I dunno... If I were you, I'd be pressed."

"Well. I'm not. So." Megan turns to face the view of Austin, defensive. Shay sighs. They don't talk for the rest of the ride.

-

Every sighting after that goes a little like this: Megan shows up, kisses Marlon, Tyler insults them, Shay shuts Tyler down, Megan bystands. Occasionally, Megan and Shay'll have a conversation, but nothing too long. That is until, one day, Shay calls Megan asking for Marlon. "Hey," Megan says, picking up the phone.

"Hey," Shay replies. It isn't as awkward as to be expected from a first-time phone call, at least in Megan's experience. 

"What's up?"

"Hey, are you with Marlon?" Shay's voice is casual, as if Marlon would of course be with Megan, and not all like he'd left with Tyler and Shay just a while ago. At least, Megan thinks it was a while ago. She'd never really grasped the concept of time.

"No, I thought he was with you?" 

"No, definitely not with me," Shay says, pulling a lock of hair across her lips, before blowing it away. _She looks nice like that,_ Megan thinks, _relaxed and a little wild_.

"Weren't you going to Tyler's?"

"Yeah, but that was, like, hours ago."

"Oh."

"I gotta go-"

"Hey," Megan interrupts because she can't let Shay go. She, surprisingly, wants to talk to her. "Did you see that video Abigail posted on Instagram?"

And they launch into a conversation about that, Megan all the while excited that she could keep Shay for a little longer.

-

The most... disastrous time Megan sees Shay is when they kiss. Or, rather, Megan is so drunk off her ass, she walks up to Shay and plants one. It is a mess, of course, and Megan can’t remember anything but the taste of Shay’s lips from that night. Beer. Listerine. Cherry chapstick. Megan didn’t even know Shay wore chapstick. It seems so un-Shay-like.

After she gets home that night, Megan lays in bed, two fingers pressed to her lips. She pretends the heat from her fingers are the heat of Shay’s mouth, that their texture is the texture of Shay’s skin, their shape is the shape of Shay’s lips. She falls asleep like that.

-

The next time Megan sees Shay, she pretends that everything is normal.

-

The next time, she apologizes. She watches Clout From Grandma's Closet play live, and compliments Marlon when she's actually thinking about Shay. Grace gives her a look, like she can spot her bullshit from a mile away, but plays along. Megan has never been that grateful for her before.

-

Megan sees Shay for the she-doesn't-know-what-number time in a car. It's after school, and Megan'd practically forced herself into Shay's car, desperate to have an actual conversation with her. What would be the first one since their kiss.

'Hi," she says. 

Shay looks over at her. "What're you doing here?"

"I," Megan begins, "want to talk. Please, Shay."

Shay sighs, nods. "What about, Megan? And make it quick."

"You've been ignoring me."

"No shit."

"Why?"

"I don't know if you remember, but you kissed me at a party."

"I remember."

"You outed me in front of everyone. And, God, you didn't even… It didn't even occur to you to feel quilt. You apologized 'cause you had to and that's just fucking bullshit, man." Shay's voice cracks toward the end, and Megan hates herself for causing it.

"I- I know," Megan replies. "I'm sorry. And I mean it this time. Not- not that I didn't mean it last time, I just- my ego is, like, huge and I- I'm just sorry, okay? Tell me what I can do to make it okay."

Shay shrugs. "I don't know. The apology was a start. Maybe work on that ego. It is pretty big."

Megan laughs wetly. "Okay."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Okay. Get out of my car."

Megan does, a smile on her face.

-

Megan sees Shay again at the park, with their heads on the grass and legs laid out. They're passing a smoothie back and forth, and Megan hates the flavor but Shay loves it so it's okay. 

"Look at the cloud," Shay says, pointing. "It looks like a dick."

"A tiny one."

"Like you're used to anything else."

Megan props herself up on her elbow. "How do you know the size of Marlon's dick?"

"It was what turned me gay." Shay nods solemnly.

Megan laughs. "Is that what you are, then?" she asks. Then, quieter, "Gay?"

"Yes. I think so."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Maybe okay will be our always."

Shay pushes Megan's face away, giggling like a child. Something completely out of Megan's control urges to comment, "You have a really pretty laugh."

Shay looks shocked, but flirts back, "Not as pretty as you." Because, Megan guesses, that's what they're doing now. Flirting.

A second passes. Then Shay says, "Sorry if I made you uncomfy or something." It's meant to be light and joking, but Megan detects panic in it anyway.

"No, no," she reassures immediately. "Just thinking."

"About?"

"My parents are fighting again."

"Oh? Why?"

"Honestly, I don't know. Jobs, probably. I'm just so tired of it."

"My mom is bipolar."

Megan rolls so she's looking at Shay, and Shay rolls so she's looking at Megan. "She was just diagnosed," Shay adds.

"I sense an _and…,_ " Megan prompts.

"It can be genetic."

"You're scared you'll be bipolar?"

"I mean, I don't wanna end up fucking crazy, you know?"

Placing her hand on Shay's cheek and brushing upward, Megan says, "You're mother isn't crazy. She's ill. It's like a kidney infection."

"Yeah, but," Shay reasons. "That's curable."

"And bipolar disorder is treatable. You get meds, see therapists. The brain is an organ too."

"But what about me?"

"What _about_ you?"

"Megan-" Shay sits up, prompting Megan to follow- "I'm a gay, Black girl living in Texas. Add bipolar to that list. My life is going to suck ass."

Megan is quiet for a bit. She truly is out of words, because she knows Shay is right. Life isn't going to be easy for her. So, instead, she brings her hand up to Shay's cheek again and brings her head back to grass, Megan following close behind, and says, "Yeah, but you'll have me."

It seems to be enough for Shay.

-

The millionth time Megan sees Shay, it's another one of their hangouts. This time, Megan goes to pick Shay up from her house first. She arrives a little bit early, but on time is late, right? 

Shay's house is pretty and unexpected, in the best way possible. It is very unique, mismatched in an almost endearing way. Blue ceramic ways with bright yellow wallpaper and a lime green table. Megan loves it. 

She rings the doorbell, and waits. A few seconds later, Shay is at the door… with Tyler and Marlon. "Hi," Megan says, because what else could she say? Tyler smiles in his usual, I-would-rather-be-dead way in reply, while Marlon actually, verbally replies.

When Megan had seen him - Marlon - standing on the doorstep, shed expected her heart to ache, like it'd done so many times before. She'd expected the feeling of drowning, the one that accompanies heartbreak, to flash. But it didn't. Here she was, looking at Marlon, with apathy. 

The thought makes her smile.

Tyler pushes past her and Marlon follows, saying goodbye to Megan on the way. And when that's all over, Megan focuses her attention to Shay. "Hello," she says.

"Hey there," Shay says.

Soon later, they're on their way, coasting the streets in Megan's Subaru. "So," Shay is saying. "My brother is a little bitch. For my birthday, he gave me a portrait of himself. Like, what a dumbass."

Megan laughs, wildly, freely. "At least now you'll have some room decor."

"I have decor in my room!" Shay argues.

"What? One of those Tumblr corkboards supposed to be covered in pictures but you don't have enough so it's just kinda… there?"

"That's very specific, Megan. Sus. And no, I have fairy lights."

"What?" Megan is cackling now. "Why?"

"I need something to compliment my beauty."

"And shitty lights are the answer?"

"Yes. Shitty lights are always the answer."

-

The next time she sees Shay, she, once again, doesn't see her. It's a phone call from Marlon's phone. Because Shay's been ignoring her again. Running away whenever Megan wants to talk to her at school, not picking up her calls, etc, etc.

So, Megan's at Marlon's house, desperate for some contact with the girl. And Marlon, being the gem he is, lends her his phone.

"Hello?" Shay's voice filters through the speaker.

"Shay?" Megan says. "Don't hang up on me. Shay. Why are you ignoring me?"

She hears Shay sigh. "I'm not ignoring you."

"Bullshit."

"What? So I need to talk to you twenty-four-seven. You're not my _girlfriend,_ Megan."

"No, Shay, I'm not. I'm your friend. And I care about you. I came to Marlon's, begged for his phone, because I knew you wouldn't pick up calls from my phone. So, please, tell me what the fuck I did wrong."

"You don't know?"

"No."

"Megan, I love you."

Megan's breath hitches. "What?"

"I love you," Shay exhales. "And, fuck, you keep making me think you love me too, but you don't, Meg."

"How do you know?" Call it liquid courage, without the liquid part.

"How do I know what?"

"That I-" Megan looks at Marlon, who is very clearly eavesdropping, although he's pretending that he isn't- "don't."

"Megan."

"Shay. Meet me at the park. Five minutes."

"Oooh bossy. Hot."

Megan rolls her eyes, grinning. "Five minutes," she repeats.

And, in five minutes, Shay's there at the park, wearing a pinafore. A fucking pinafore. Megan only gets a moment to register how cute she looks in it before their lips finally meet.

It's nothing like the first time. It's soft and sweet and Shay's lips are angelic and pliant and chapped and Megan wants to be closer, closer, closer, anything she knows it's impossible.

-

Megan sees Shay lying on her bed when she enters her bedroom after school. "Afternoon, babe," Shay greets. 

_Babe._ Megan grins.

"How do you always manage to reach earlier than me?"

"You dilly-dally."

Megan gets on the bed, adjusts herself to fit into Shay. "Dilly-dally."

"Dilly-dally."

"I hate you."

Shay smiles. "Sure," she says, before kissing Megan swiftly on the lips. Megan, needing more, tilts her chin up at Shay. Shay rolls her eyes, but obliges nevertheless.

"Do you want to tell people soon?" Shay asks after a moment. "Pro: We don't have to sneak off separately, we can reach at the same time and - by extension - you can stop my use of the words dilly and dally."

"Oh, I thought the pro would be the fact that, I don't know, there would be no more hiding. But you're right. No dilly or dally is better."

"I'm always right, babe."

"Okay, babe."

"Babe."

"Babe."

And then they're kissing again. Shay's lips moving against Megan's smoothly, Megan laughing when Shay almost pushes her off the bed, hands roaming behind backs. 

Suddenly, Megan pulls away. Shay looks at her, confused and concerned, but Megan presses a kiss to her forehead, calming her down a bit. She then grabs Shay's left hand and lifts it up. "Can I?" Megan asks, and Shay nods. 

Slowly, Megan begins sucking on Shay's fingers. She starts with her pinky, biting and swirling her tongue without pulling her eyes away from Shay's. Then, her ring finger. Shay moans softly this time, and Megan winks at her. Megan moves to her middle finger, then index, then thumb.

By the end, Shay's eyes are glazed with desire.

"I want you," Shay says.

"Then have me," Megan says back.


End file.
